All in All
by phelipa
Summary: Grissom and Sara next season. SPOILERS FOR LAST SEASON FINALE


Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or the characters.

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All in All

_Standing on top of the edge it feels like it's going down  
Everything stays in my mind feeling in a daze on the ground  
Feels like it's gonna give life's to hard to live anymore  
I think I've had enough things too tough_

_- "All in All" Lifehouse_

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Gilbert Grissom slipped into his white dress shirt. He buttoned each button meticulously, making sure they were even. The black belt cinched the white shirt in his dress slacks and he ran his hand over them quickly, eliminating creases. His face was clean shaven and smooth as he dabbed a bit of cologne just under his jaw line. He ran a small amount of gel through his hair, setting it in place and making it just that little bit more formal.

The black tie moved deftly through his hands and he fastened the knot just under his Adam's apple. He swallowed hard before putting on his suit jacket and fastening the bottom buttons. The cufflinks slid easily through the holes and he tightened them so they wouldn't fall out.

He made one last appearance check and nodded before stepping out of the bathroom. He slipped his wallet into his suit jacket and left, checking his watch and locking the door behind him. The black limo pulled up within minutes and he climbed in the back door, sitting by himself in the window seat.

The ride was a short one and they pulled up in front of the church in good time. He went into the church slowly and went into one of the side rooms, waiting. They came in gradually, Catherine first.

"Hey, how you doing?" She asked.

He offered her a nervous smile, "Ok."

"You know, you could have told us about the two of you."

He looked at her stonily, "I don't want to talk about it."

She nodded, "Fine, hey…you'll be fine."

"I know." He said.

She offered him a reassuring smile before leaving and letting the others in. They all said what they had to and left, almost seeming relieved. He waited a moment before getting up to follow them.

He stared out the window and watched the people filter in, chatting with one another. The day was crisp and clear, they were in a rare location of Vegas where it wasn't entirely a show. The country was gorgeous and he breathed in the air coming from the window for a moment.

He stood up and slipped his hand into his jacket's pocket, touching Sara's picture gently. He'd kept it with him for strength, he'd need it. He followed the other people into the sanctuary and walked slowly down the aisle, to the front row. People turned to look at him but he walked forward, looking neither left nor right.

He sat with the rest of the team and Catherine reached over, gently taking his hand and squeezing it. He looked forward, towards the casket and felt emotion well up in his throat. She looked the same, her shoulder length hair splayed over the pillow with a peaceful expression on her face. He could see how beautiful and perfect her face was, but he'd seen the damage underneath. Her body had been absolutely crushed under the car, it was a miracle that she'd lasted as long as she had.

She'd managed to hold out until they'd rescued her from her trap. Grissom had been the first one on the scene, reaching for her outstretched hand as she cried out in pain. His presence seemed to reassure her and she'd ceased her sobs and had been reduced to unending tears. It'd taken a while to get the car off and when they had, she'd screamed in pain. The paramedics had lifted her onto the stretched and given her several injections of pain killer.

Grissom had sat next to her in the ambulance as she'd drifted in and out of consciousness, telling her that he loved her. She'd replied in the same manner and clutched his hand tightly. They'd whisked her right into surgery and found major internal bleeding. She'd come out of the surgery and even woke up from the anesthetic long enough to tell Grissom she loved him and that he should take good care of Bruno, their dog.

He'd resisted, hoping for the best, but the following morning she'd slipped into a coma and flat lined minutes later. He'd stayed as they tried to get a heartbeat but after half an hour, there was no use…she was brain dead.

He cleared his throat and tightened his grip on Catherine's hand, desperately trying to keep his emotions in check. As the priest stepped forward to perform the rites he turned his head downwards, unable to look at her peaceful face any longer. He half listened as the service ran it's course and breathed a small sigh of relief when the priest made his final comments. It was too much pressure with all eyes on him, he wanted out…or he wanted to be alone with Sara.

As the congregation began to file out he stayed behind. When Catherine turned to speak to him he shook his head and told her to go on without him. She nodded in understanding and followed the others as they made their way to the procession of carriages.

He convinced the funeral home's attendants to give him a few minutes and then he was left alone with Sara in the empty church. He moved to her casket and gently laid his hand next to her cheek. Her skin was unnaturally cool and he shuddered a little.

"Hey Sara." He murmured.

He imagined her response and continued,

"Everyone was here. We all miss you, but I…I miss you the most. We'll never be the same. I don't know if I even want to do this anymore. It hurts too much."

He fell into an awkward silence, not knowing what to say. He paused for a long moment before saying,

"I love you Sara. I'll always love you, and I'll never forget you."

He turned from the body and walked out of the church, without glancing back. He'd said his goodbyes and to see her again would be too much. He couldn't take it any longer.

He stepped out into the sunlight again and Catherine passed him a balloon in the palest jade color he'd ever seen. He closed his eyes and briefly imagined he could smell her. The subtle mix of peppermint and lilac and another scent that was, put simply, Sara. He could almost feel her next to him and when he opened his eyes again he felt his heart lurch. It was the deepest ache he'd ever felt.

As the clock struck noon he released his balloon in unison with the others and tilted his head back, watching the numerous balloons float into the clouds. The wind blew across his face and he took in a deep breath before quietly whispering,

"Goodbye Sara."

_Fin_

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End file.
